Thoughts on Cannabis

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Quick thing before I go on, I know my dad reads my blog sometimes. So, dad, I suggest this post not be one you read. There’s nothing really bad about it, but I just don’t think you’ll like it. Cool? COOL! That, and you can look at the Midna pictures.

My baby girl!

With that awkward announcement over…

I was discussing “self medicating” with my roommate and my boyfriend over the past week. A mix of my thoughts on it and learning more about cannabis as a whole. I smoked a bit in high school but otherwise it’s never been too big of a thing in my life.
I struggle to focus as I’ve mentioned before, and I’ve been reading a lot on the topic of self medicating. It’s never been something I’m against, I just haven’t pursued anything of the sort before. 

There’s a cannabis store just up the road that I’ve been into a few times, mostly for gifts, but that’s probably where I’m going to go. That and it’s the closest store to me. Now, for clarification, I’m going to go there later today and really pick the brains of the employee. I know you can buy like, a little two pack thingy. Today, I’m going to try and write a whole bunch! Because focus sucks and I want to try. 

I’ve left Google Docs open for when I get back. Setting future me up for success. That, and how yesterday went, I’ve got to make food too. Did you see what was going on? Other than that, I don’t have a whole lot planned. Maybe some cleaning if I still have the energy. If this plan works out, I’ll have to consider doing it again. I’ll keep you updated nonetheless. 

Only reason for a cellphone. Pet pictures

But Yeah

That’s what I’ve got for today. Thanks for stopping by and stay safe out there! Oh, and a side note, the high for today is 4. It’s getting warm out!
— Deryn

Stopped Fighting It

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ADHD is a bitch. And my whole life I’ve been trying to fight it, trying to be a “normal” person. Lately I’ve been embracing it and just seeing what changes in my life. Hot damn did things change! *I say ADHD, I’m technically undiagnosed, but I tick almost every box and doctors around here suck. 

With That Out Of The Way

The motivation to do things has changed. If I only have the energy to finish half a task, I don’t burn out and am able to do half another task. Say dishes for example, my sink is split into two sides, if I do half the sink, I don’t want to die. (That’s a joke, not death here.) And from there might actually switch the laundry over, or even clean the litter boxes in my house. Oh, and my own health, damn! I’m taking care of myself! It’s so exciting! 

Even with hobbies, as of late they feel less like a chore I’ve abandoned, and more like an actual hobby. I only pick them up once a week, but that’s miles better than before! Hence why I’ve been writing more, and streaming more. Today will be day four I think. And I’m excited for gym days, until I go back I’ve been running with Midna. Running is the worst... But we have so much fun together. 

My sleep schedule has taken an interesting turn. A friend of mine is a “I’ll sleep when I’m tired,” kind of person. So I figured I’d try that out and it’s been going great! Every now and again I’ll take a nap, and then just continue about my day.
Found out it’s because of my cats. I was getting woken by them at like, 7:30 and I would feed them and be “awake”. After like four hours I’d be so tired I just went back to bed for a few hours. Fixed that, but sleeping all night is more my thing. 

Take Care Of Your Mental Health

I can’t say it enough, take care of yourself. Mental health matters so much, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Learning that early will change your life. Anyway, I’ll stop rambling for now. Have an awesome day and be safe out there!
— Deryn

Habits Are Hard

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I’ve been trying to build some new habits in my life. General things like actually vacuum and keep up with laundry. Having ADHD makes that difficult as I kind of need to be praised CONSISTANTLY for doing basic things. Basic isn’t really the right word, more like, non-exciting. There’s an amazing guy on TikTok who has been teaching me how to do things like keeping a clean house, while having my brain be stupid. That reminds me, I need a whiteboard…

I suck at keeping things in my house clean. Talking with my wife, she was saying how the bathroom can be a bit of a problem sometimes. That’s fair, so I decided I was going to try and help as best I can. There’s the little sticky toilet cleaning things that stick to the inside of the bowl, which I bought. Clean toilet, get first step for me! I even bought refills for the thingy, thing. Next huge thing I did was buy those disposable wipes. The cleaning surfaces ones, because not every mess made in the bathroom requires a whole cleaning crew. Plus, if depression strikes and cleaning the bathroom no longer matters, I can kind of keep things bearable.

Percy

Besides Cleaning

I’m trying to read more. It’s not that I don’t like reading, because I love reading, I just, sit. I don’t know, it’s just, hard to stay focused. There was some “self help” post I read on Pinterest forever ago saying “you should read for 10 minutes before bed” or something like that, which isn’t a bad idea. Now, ten minutes is lame, so I figured, why not read a chapter at a time. That’s it. I’ve even got a cute lamp next to my bed, this has helped. I may actually finish some books this year!

Saving money has always been a weird one for me. As of late, I’ve been trying a new thing where I put the few cents left after a transaction into my savings account. That makes sense, haha, cents, sense? I made myself laugh again... I’d like to be able to do things like, go to England again, and maybe actually fix my damn trailer...

My big thing though is trying to remember to take care of myself, which shouldn’t be as hard as it is. I’ve been trying to workout more and even start eating better too. I was challenged with adding more colours to my meals, so kale and spinach or some neat green things to eat. Don’t judge me, I’m doing my best...

Shadow

No Matter What

I just have to remember to be somewhat consistent, and make sure I’m doing this for me, not because I was told to. Who doesn’t want thicc gains and a nice clean house? But yeah, that’s my life at the moment. Thanks for stopping by, and be safe out there!
— Deryn

How I Have Been Through This

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In case you didn’t know, my dumb ass got Covid. It’s been an odd week of feeling like death one minute and then wanting to go for a run the next. My roommate and I have been stuck at home, so I can share what’s been happening to me.

First Couple Days

Before we got tested, I had a bit of a headache. It was also New Years, so I assumed I was hungover. As my headache didn’t go away, and my roommate started to feel sick, I borrowed my dads car and took us to the testing center.

The people there are really nice and just making sure everyone is healthy and being taken care of. I did the saline swish thing, and that was a bad idea. I have a weak gag reflex, so I almost threw up everywhere. But whatever.

That night, I was kind of worried it was going to come back positive. If it did, there wasn’t a whole lot I could do besides get batter quick, right?

Spoiler, It Was Positive

For the first little while, headache and weak bones were my big symptoms. Advil made everything better though. At least, at first. Then it got bad. My bones felt worse, my head got stuffy, and I started getting chills. I can’t sleep very much right now either.

With my head feeling so over pressurized that it wants to pop, I’ve only been getting a few hours of sleep a night. Benadryl and Advil are my only saving graces right now. Plus, a lack of appetite and not sleeping, I just need to eat a frick load and sleep for about three days. That’s all I need.

I’m dizzy, dehydrated, and feeling like actual death, or at least, I am half the time. Sometimes, I’m fine. As of right now, I’m actually feeling pretty okay. I’ll have to maybe take some Advil just ’cause I can feel a headache coming back.

After Everything

I’m no longer considered “contagious” as of the 11th, but I’m going to do my two weeks and stay inside and quarantined. We’ll see how I’m feeling after that. But for now, I’m kind of hungry. So I’ll catch ya later! Stay safe out there!
— Deryn

Home Stretch Now

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Y’all, there’s only one month left of 2020. Talk about a surreal feeling right? Recap; life was throw into a tornado and we all came out different people. Today I want to talk about how this year has changed me, as well as life around me. And I should also talk about the future of what I’m doing here on this website. Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. Not yet anyway... What a year.

This year started so rough for a lot of people, and I am one hundred percent one of those people. Not being able to recognize when you’re in one of the lowest parts of your life is just a bummer. Relationships that weren’t meant to be, questioning where money was going to be coming from, and just in a real rut was how my year started. It wasn’t too long after I connected with the lovely soul that is now my roommate, and adopted a couple more furry kids. She has been such a light for me, being able to grow together in a healthy environment, I love her so much.

New relationship? I know right, scandalous. I say that, this is the most healthy transition I’ve made pretty much ever. From June until September I was a single pringle. I know that’s not a lot of time for a lot of people, but for me that’s a huge accomplishment. I haven’t been single for more than twenty-four hours in about seven years. Being able to communicate and share experiences without feeling invalid or even like I talk too much is so relieving. That feeling that someone cares for you makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. I’ll stop simping over my boyfriend now, sorry. Not actually sorry, I enjoy it.

Highlight for December, BAKING! Oh I am so excited to be baking so many treats! By no means am I a baker, but I do love me some snacks. Almost every friend of mine bakes around the holidays too. Bella and I have made cookies, and salsa, and the odd mess or two, my lovely roommate makes a killer tiramisu, and this year we’ve been invited to do some baking at my boyfriends place. SO MANY SNACKS!!! I’m so hyped! Plus, some of my drivers have bakers in their families. I’ve got to start working out... Quality time is definitely up there in my love languages.

Remember when we all had high hopes for 2020? Even with the lows, there were a lot of highs too. Mentally, I’m in a good place, and I have an amazing group of people around me. Plus, everyone here, this website, this memory holder, has been so amazing for me. I love doing this, and I hope you love reading my rambles. Come 2021 I should also have a camera for my computer (I forgot what the word for that is…) so I can start maybe streaming for my Multimedia Mondays. In short, I’m going to be staying for the time being, and hopefully for a long time. Plus, I have some more hiking trails I want to share when I get there. So yeah, you’re stuck with me for now.

Thanks for coming around today, and be safe out there! We’re in the home stretch, only a little more left and we’re free! Don’t forget, you can support me via my social media, whether Twitter or Instagram, as well as donations in both Paypal and Patreon. Thanks again for everything!
— Deryn