I’m supposed to get one of these things today. But of course, I had literally zero time for space between bookings that I also have the ultrasound today. So this morning, I’m not supposed to pee and the anxiety is building. Which rationally, doesn’t make sense, I’ll be fine, it may hurt but not as much as bleaching my scalp did so… This is a… TMI style post, so if you don’t want to read about it, I don’t blame you.

A Joke for You

The Drive Home

I was at my boyfriends place for the weekend, so he’s taking me home, then I’m going to my ultrasound as he has his own appointment, and then he’s taking me to get the actual thing put in. When I was first telling him about the IUD he had just been playing Destiny 2, he made the joke of it being an IED, so we’ve been joking about that a lot.

I’m anxious, and I’m sure that’s normal but I’m still trying to rationalize it. I feel like after my hair and this stupid thing is finally in, I’ll be prepared to get a tattoo! I’m probably full of shit but whatever... Once I get through this, I’ll be all good. Onto the first appointment.

The Ultrasound

Lol so apparently if my bladder isn’t full enough I may have to reschedule entirely. I haven’t been called in yet so I won’t know until then but I am STRESSED.
The doctor was very nice, and we got it done. Won’t have results for a few days, which is fine. I’m glad that’s over with though, that was weird. Which only means the IUD is going to be worse... So far everyone I’ve talked to has been very nice. I’m thankful because this is a lot. 


The Actual Insertion … Thing

That was a bizarre experience, but it worked out. Turns out there’s some health things I need to worry about in the future, but it’s there and ready to go. So, let’s see how I do going forward! The doctor kept asking “are you okay?” and all I could say is that the situation was weird. 


My amazing boyfriend stayed with me through it all and has been so supportive. He drove me there, and is now driving me home. Surprisingly, I’m in no pain. Honestly it’s great though because I’m a wimp. My mental on the other hand is a little fucked…

My wife is home now, so we’re going to go and enjoy the rest of the day. I’ll check in tomorrow and do a quick comparison.

Selfie of us!

The Next Day

Percy is so annoying when he’s screaming… So I guess I’m awake. Anyway, morning, how y’all doing? As for everything that happened yesterday, I’m still totally fine physically. But today I’m probably going to look for a family doctor and get blood work done. Woo, so yeah, all in all, the experience wasn’t the worst.

I’m thankful for the people in my life who check up on me and are around. I don’t think I could have done this by myself.

Some Other Updates

It’s June! Which means Pride month, and enjoying the summer heat! Catch my adventures hopefully happening more for the next few months. I’m going to look into vlogging too. For now, don’t forget to catch my streams

Nature Shot

Stay tuned for all the new stuff I have planned, and we’ll talk soon! Be safe out there!
— Deryn

Thoughts on Cannabis


Quick thing before I go on, I know my dad reads my blog sometimes. So, dad, I suggest this post not be one you read. There’s nothing really bad about it, but I just don’t think you’ll like it. Cool? COOL! That, and you can look at the Midna pictures.

My baby girl!

With that awkward announcement over…

I was discussing “self medicating” with my roommate and my boyfriend over the past week. A mix of my thoughts on it and learning more about cannabis as a whole. I smoked a bit in high school but otherwise it’s never been too big of a thing in my life.
I struggle to focus as I’ve mentioned before, and I’ve been reading a lot on the topic of self medicating. It’s never been something I’m against, I just haven’t pursued anything of the sort before. 

There’s a cannabis store just up the road that I’ve been into a few times, mostly for gifts, but that’s probably where I’m going to go. That and it’s the closest store to me. Now, for clarification, I’m going to go there later today and really pick the brains of the employee. I know you can buy like, a little two pack thingy. Today, I’m going to try and write a whole bunch! Because focus sucks and I want to try. 

I’ve left Google Docs open for when I get back. Setting future me up for success. That, and how yesterday went, I’ve got to make food too. Did you see what was going on? Other than that, I don’t have a whole lot planned. Maybe some cleaning if I still have the energy. If this plan works out, I’ll have to consider doing it again. I’ll keep you updated nonetheless. 

Only reason for a cellphone. Pet pictures

But Yeah

That’s what I’ve got for today. Thanks for stopping by and stay safe out there! Oh, and a side note, the high for today is 4. It’s getting warm out!
— Deryn

Stopped Fighting It


ADHD is a bitch. And my whole life I’ve been trying to fight it, trying to be a “normal” person. Lately I’ve been embracing it and just seeing what changes in my life. Hot damn did things change! *I say ADHD, I’m technically undiagnosed, but I tick almost every box and doctors around here suck. 

With That Out Of The Way

The motivation to do things has changed. If I only have the energy to finish half a task, I don’t burn out and am able to do half another task. Say dishes for example, my sink is split into two sides, if I do half the sink, I don’t want to die. (That’s a joke, not death here.) And from there might actually switch the laundry over, or even clean the litter boxes in my house. Oh, and my own health, damn! I’m taking care of myself! It’s so exciting! 

Even with hobbies, as of late they feel less like a chore I’ve abandoned, and more like an actual hobby. I only pick them up once a week, but that’s miles better than before! Hence why I’ve been writing more, and streaming more. Today will be day four I think. And I’m excited for gym days, until I go back I’ve been running with Midna. Running is the worst... But we have so much fun together. 

My sleep schedule has taken an interesting turn. A friend of mine is a “I’ll sleep when I’m tired,” kind of person. So I figured I’d try that out and it’s been going great! Every now and again I’ll take a nap, and then just continue about my day.
Found out it’s because of my cats. I was getting woken by them at like, 7:30 and I would feed them and be “awake”. After like four hours I’d be so tired I just went back to bed for a few hours. Fixed that, but sleeping all night is more my thing. 

Take Care Of Your Mental Health

I can’t say it enough, take care of yourself. Mental health matters so much, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Learning that early will change your life. Anyway, I’ll stop rambling for now. Have an awesome day and be safe out there!
— Deryn

I Can Leave My House


Holy frick, I am HYPED! I’ve been stuck at home for two weeks and can finally get out! My dad and I went to go grocery shopping and I feel so good now! I never thought not being able to leave home would have been that boring. The first time we went on lockdown, I at least got to go hiking and such, but being contagious and a danger is a whole other thing. You know, I say boring, but there were only a couple days where I got bored, otherwise I had enough I could do around the house. I started working out, my house is super clean, and I have my computer set up 95% built!

Shadow is so cute

I’m Writing This On Tuesday

This morning I’m back to work. Up at 4:30am is the worst, but I’m happy that I can even go back at all. I loved being home with my pets and my roommate, but it’s time. I was making jokes to my dad (who is also my boss) that I was going to “lay down the law” and make sure everyone working here follow the rules to a tee. Being here again, I’m just glad they remember me. Honestly, just being able to go somewhere that isn’t home is super great!

Being able to leave my place once in awhile really changes my mood. Something like that would have blown younger me away. But then again, so would working out, eating better, and learning to stream. By the way, keep an eye out for me possibly streaming! I’ll link everything once it’s up and going!

I’m just so thankful I wasn’t alone. My three fuzzy babies and my amazing wife. Over those few weeks also my dad and her dad both got us groceries. Since we couldn’t work, that helped so much. Considering the shite situation, I felt really good over those weeks. But, getting out is definitely exciting! And I’m grateful I can keep doing it for the foreseeable future!

Fuzzy babies are best babies

Thanks for coming by today, or I guess technically tomorrow as I’m writing this on Tuesday. But, be safe and have an amazing day!
— Deryn

Workout Routines


Working out is the worst, but if I’m going to pretend to be Lara Croft, I’ve got to do it. I set myself a goal for this year, I want to do one pullup unassisted. That and wear high wasted shorts ’cause they’re cute, not to hide my tummy. But we won’t talk about that… And maybe a real crunch, that would be cool too.

My roommate has some resistance bands and we both own two 10lbs weights, so every now and again I’ll use the bands while sitting at my computer. Since I’m sitting there all day, I may as well right?

As for an actual workout routine, she has her own goals, so I’ve been crashing her party too. It’s not much, but it feels like I’m working out at least three or four times a week right now. I say that, we did like three days in a row and my body is SAD! She’s been super supportive and teaching me how to do at home workouts properly.

Photo Credits

What Can I Say, I Love My Roommate

I’ve only done a hand full of days with her so far, but I’ve been feeling good and I kind of am starting to enjoy working out. I complain the entire time, but that’s how I cope at this point... Being unmotivated is really easy for me though, I find if I don’t have someone to do it with, than I don’t want to do it at all.
So I just found out that’s called body doubling… And now I’m sad, not actually, my whole life is my ADHD and I’ve accepted it.

What Makes This Year Different?

What a good question! I’ll never do that again... This year is different for me solely because I feel like I actually can be better. This is a year where I don’t feel I need to change who I am, especially not for anyone else. I’m doing this for me, and that’s it.

Being able to hike a mountain for a sunrise, the chance to live a healthier life, and even just to do whatever I want are what I really look forward to. My body has always been an issue for me, and I have the opportunity to beat up my insecurity. That’s kind of awesome, and I’m excited to see what I can do. Plus like, pullups and showing my 18 year old self that we really made it.

Photo Credits

Anyway, I’m starving. So that’s it from me today, but we’ll talk soon. Be safe and have an awesome day!
— Deryn