Thoughts on Cannabis

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Quick thing before I go on, I know my dad reads my blog sometimes. So, dad, I suggest this post not be one you read. There’s nothing really bad about it, but I just don’t think you’ll like it. Cool? COOL! That, and you can look at the Midna pictures.

My baby girl!

With that awkward announcement over…

I was discussing “self medicating” with my roommate and my boyfriend over the past week. A mix of my thoughts on it and learning more about cannabis as a whole. I smoked a bit in high school but otherwise it’s never been too big of a thing in my life.
I struggle to focus as I’ve mentioned before, and I’ve been reading a lot on the topic of self medicating. It’s never been something I’m against, I just haven’t pursued anything of the sort before. 

There’s a cannabis store just up the road that I’ve been into a few times, mostly for gifts, but that’s probably where I’m going to go. That and it’s the closest store to me. Now, for clarification, I’m going to go there later today and really pick the brains of the employee. I know you can buy like, a little two pack thingy. Today, I’m going to try and write a whole bunch! Because focus sucks and I want to try. 

I’ve left Google Docs open for when I get back. Setting future me up for success. That, and how yesterday went, I’ve got to make food too. Did you see what was going on? Other than that, I don’t have a whole lot planned. Maybe some cleaning if I still have the energy. If this plan works out, I’ll have to consider doing it again. I’ll keep you updated nonetheless. 

Only reason for a cellphone. Pet pictures

But Yeah

That’s what I’ve got for today. Thanks for stopping by and stay safe out there! Oh, and a side note, the high for today is 4. It’s getting warm out!
— Deryn

Stopped Fighting It

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ADHD is a bitch. And my whole life I’ve been trying to fight it, trying to be a “normal” person. Lately I’ve been embracing it and just seeing what changes in my life. Hot damn did things change! *I say ADHD, I’m technically undiagnosed, but I tick almost every box and doctors around here suck. 

With That Out Of The Way

The motivation to do things has changed. If I only have the energy to finish half a task, I don’t burn out and am able to do half another task. Say dishes for example, my sink is split into two sides, if I do half the sink, I don’t want to die. (That’s a joke, not death here.) And from there might actually switch the laundry over, or even clean the litter boxes in my house. Oh, and my own health, damn! I’m taking care of myself! It’s so exciting! 

Even with hobbies, as of late they feel less like a chore I’ve abandoned, and more like an actual hobby. I only pick them up once a week, but that’s miles better than before! Hence why I’ve been writing more, and streaming more. Today will be day four I think. And I’m excited for gym days, until I go back I’ve been running with Midna. Running is the worst... But we have so much fun together. 

My sleep schedule has taken an interesting turn. A friend of mine is a “I’ll sleep when I’m tired,” kind of person. So I figured I’d try that out and it’s been going great! Every now and again I’ll take a nap, and then just continue about my day.
Found out it’s because of my cats. I was getting woken by them at like, 7:30 and I would feed them and be “awake”. After like four hours I’d be so tired I just went back to bed for a few hours. Fixed that, but sleeping all night is more my thing. 

Take Care Of Your Mental Health

I can’t say it enough, take care of yourself. Mental health matters so much, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Learning that early will change your life. Anyway, I’ll stop rambling for now. Have an awesome day and be safe out there!
— Deryn

I Can Leave My House

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Holy frick, I am HYPED! I’ve been stuck at home for two weeks and can finally get out! My dad and I went to go grocery shopping and I feel so good now! I never thought not being able to leave home would have been that boring. The first time we went on lockdown, I at least got to go hiking and such, but being contagious and a danger is a whole other thing. You know, I say boring, but there were only a couple days where I got bored, otherwise I had enough I could do around the house. I started working out, my house is super clean, and I have my computer set up 95% built!

Shadow is so cute

I’m Writing This On Tuesday

This morning I’m back to work. Up at 4:30am is the worst, but I’m happy that I can even go back at all. I loved being home with my pets and my roommate, but it’s time. I was making jokes to my dad (who is also my boss) that I was going to “lay down the law” and make sure everyone working here follow the rules to a tee. Being here again, I’m just glad they remember me. Honestly, just being able to go somewhere that isn’t home is super great!

Being able to leave my place once in awhile really changes my mood. Something like that would have blown younger me away. But then again, so would working out, eating better, and learning to stream. By the way, keep an eye out for me possibly streaming! I’ll link everything once it’s up and going!

I’m just so thankful I wasn’t alone. My three fuzzy babies and my amazing wife. Over those few weeks also my dad and her dad both got us groceries. Since we couldn’t work, that helped so much. Considering the shite situation, I felt really good over those weeks. But, getting out is definitely exciting! And I’m grateful I can keep doing it for the foreseeable future!

Fuzzy babies are best babies

Thanks for coming by today, or I guess technically tomorrow as I’m writing this on Tuesday. But, be safe and have an amazing day!
— Deryn

How I Have Been Through This

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In case you didn’t know, my dumb ass got Covid. It’s been an odd week of feeling like death one minute and then wanting to go for a run the next. My roommate and I have been stuck at home, so I can share what’s been happening to me.

First Couple Days

Before we got tested, I had a bit of a headache. It was also New Years, so I assumed I was hungover. As my headache didn’t go away, and my roommate started to feel sick, I borrowed my dads car and took us to the testing center.

The people there are really nice and just making sure everyone is healthy and being taken care of. I did the saline swish thing, and that was a bad idea. I have a weak gag reflex, so I almost threw up everywhere. But whatever.

That night, I was kind of worried it was going to come back positive. If it did, there wasn’t a whole lot I could do besides get batter quick, right?

Spoiler, It Was Positive

For the first little while, headache and weak bones were my big symptoms. Advil made everything better though. At least, at first. Then it got bad. My bones felt worse, my head got stuffy, and I started getting chills. I can’t sleep very much right now either.

With my head feeling so over pressurized that it wants to pop, I’ve only been getting a few hours of sleep a night. Benadryl and Advil are my only saving graces right now. Plus, a lack of appetite and not sleeping, I just need to eat a frick load and sleep for about three days. That’s all I need.

I’m dizzy, dehydrated, and feeling like actual death, or at least, I am half the time. Sometimes, I’m fine. As of right now, I’m actually feeling pretty okay. I’ll have to maybe take some Advil just ’cause I can feel a headache coming back.

After Everything

I’m no longer considered “contagious” as of the 11th, but I’m going to do my two weeks and stay inside and quarantined. We’ll see how I’m feeling after that. But for now, I’m kind of hungry. So I’ll catch ya later! Stay safe out there!
— Deryn

Chatting Over Dinner

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Last night a friend and I went and got dinner so we could reconnect. She’s taking time off work for mental health, so we took the evening to compare stories, and even relationships. She’s been with her partner for just over two years now. And all of my relationships have a habit of ending before the two year mark, which isn’t a bad thing. They were meant to end when they did, although some could have ended sooner...

We play cards together, and before this virus hit, we were really the only women in the group. Being that way, her and I bonded pretty quick, and she’s always been there since. When it comes to female friends, I only have a few. The few I do have, I hold onto very tight. Precious quality time with the ladies is important to me. There are just some things you can’t talk to anyone else about. Or is that just me?

I’ve grown so attached to Midna, I can’t believe it sometimes

Dating with mental illness is weird. Both of us have depression, although she definitely suffers from it more. She’s an absolute sweetie and deserves all of the best things in the world. Depending on who you talk to, they would say the same for me… That’s a weird realization... ADHD has got me the weirdest reactions from people though. I don’t think before I do anything, which sometimes can lead me into some trouble. I’ve made real progress in dealing with that, but I can always improve. Plus I have a trash memory, which helps with nothing ever.

Percy is the cutest when he sleeps!

In case you’re curious, only a piece of the conversation was devoted to “in the bedroom”. Man did she ask me tons of questions, holy frick. Not that I don’t want to answer most of the time, but dang she had questions. Oh crap it’s time to publish! Guess that’s all I have for today! Thanks for stopping by, and have a good day!
— Deryn