How I’ve Been Dealing with Memory Loss

Prior to my nineteenth birthday, my memory is foggy at best. I don’t know quite what happened to mess it up either, and I occasionally have an “Ah ha” moment where I remember something in particular! But it’s been weird.

When I was younger, I doodled and wrote a frick load in journals and diaries. This has been extra helpful piecing together friendships and nightmares of my younger years. Most of it was typical young people problems like outfits and homework, but there’s definitely bits I wish I didn’t read. I also apparently doodled hearts on EVERYTHING which is odd, but whatever I guess.

The memory loss is also affecting my current memory. I can’t remember shit half the time... I usually have at least one journal on me at a time to write down stuff I should remember. My boyfriend likes to poke fun at me because I’ll tell him about something fun I did, and his response is one of two; “Babe, I was there” or “Babe, you told me this story already”. It’s not my fault my memory is actual trash! At least I don’t think it is...

I don’t know if this memory problem will continue as I get older, but honestly the way I see it: if I don’t remember such a large portion of life, maybe I shouldn’t remember, right?

But yeah, that’s my life. Wanna support my consistant need to have a journal? – PayPal Patreon – Anyway thanks for reading!
— Deryn

Adventure Time

Happy March! Can you believe it? We’re so close to real spring and not second winter now! I’m coming up quick on a year of running this blog too! Are you as excited as I am for plant season? CAUSE WE’RE ALMOST THERE!
But yeah, happy almost spring, and now I get to tell you about the crazy long walk I went on.

So, I went adventuring! My super amazing and most lovely friend Bella and I went for quite the walk the other day. It’s a day after and my body is still sore… Her and I have this thing where we get Starbucks every dang time because I can’t make decisions and she hates being the only decision maker. This time, we picked a farther away location to enjoy lattes at.

We started at her place. She lives close to the downtown area, lucky lady… So we hauled ourselves friggen like two kilometers to this Starbucks. It was a gorgeous walk though and I loved it! There’s a massive residential area I’ve never been in with streams running through it and bike lanes and stuff. It was super cute! I regret not pulling my phone out while we were walking around. I’m glad she knew where we were going cause like, I was beyond lost.

Along our walk, we found a full duplex for sale. If you’re unfamiliar with Okanagan housing prices, they’re actually insane. This duplex was on for $800k. Over three quarter million dollars, making each half about $400k right, that’s absurd! If you make minimum wage, pay literally nothing, and save up every dollar, after TEN YEARS you still can’t buy that house. Well, with a mortgage you can. But that payment would be $2500 a month which a full time job at 40 hours a week can’t afford! I’m sorry I know I’m ranting but I’m upset, housing prices are bizarre.

I get overwhelmed easy looking at a Starbucks menu, so I get the same thing my dad does. Apparently every man in my life speaks Starbucks fluently... While we sat there we had quite the conversation on “professionalism”. I’m almost, overly casual, so we were talking about managing employees and customer service. It felt like hours were spent at that Starbucks. But we weren’t done yet. (In case you’re curious, chai tea latte. Cause I’m basic…)

There’s one Nature’s Fare in town, it just so happens we’re about another two kilometers away from there. By now we’d been out for about an hour and a half just walking, enjoying the rather warm weather, and each others shenanigans.
I freaking love Nature’s Fare, I mean yes it is a grocery store, but it’s just fun. They have a full lunch buffet thing going on with a cute patio. I was still full from our drinks earlier, but Bella got this potato thing and some veggies. 10/10 good stuff. I stuck to a smoothie.

Now that we’re so dang far from our starting point, we kind of have to go home now. Another three kilometers, or forty minutes of walking were in our future. This walk was less admiring the world around me and more getting tired from walking so much. We were both wearing heeled boots even.

Bella is a super amazing human and I love her dearly. Go show her some love – Her Instagram – Most of my adventures, besides the busing and work ones, she’s the person I go with.
But yeah, that was my friggen seven kilometer walk of death and pretty views! Thanks for coming with!
And as always, thanks for reading!
— Deryn

Focus Focus Focus

I struggle to focus, especially when it comes to something I really should do. This morning I was trying to read an article on Civilization V and it was rather long for my attention span, but I really wanted to read it. Pushing through the want to tab out and watch a stream, I finally finished it and was super proud of myself. Even sitting here right now and trying to type this out, I’m struggling.

Just like anyone else, I have good days and bad days, but I know there isn’t much I can do at the moment. It’s probably the worst when I decide I want to write more of my novel and my brain just won’t do the thing.

Blogging helps a lot I find. Being able to put my thoughts onto a page while detangling the mess that is my brain is uplifting. Even being able to work out emotions like this is healthy. Makes me understand why people keep a journal.

Back on the topic of my novel – I’m almost done the rough draft I think. From there, onto an overall edit into a first real draft. As for the Ebook I was talking about – I’ll get to that one day. Hopefully my brain will cooperate. With work being quiet this morning, I should be able to pump out some words and make more progress.

But yeah, that’s what I’ve got for today. I’ve got a lengthy post coming soon, so keep an eye out for that. And in all reality, I should get back to work.

As always, thanks for reading!
— Deryn

Future Exploration

I made a joke to my boyfriend about owning a brothel of sex dolls and thought to myself, I would make an amazing brothel owner. With a giggle to myself, I debated on where I think I would be career wise down there road.
I found some old notebooks from school with ideas on what I’d be doing at this point in my life, so I’m also maybe going to offer those thoughts up to be judged fairly. Feel free to mock me, I’m doing it to myself anyway.

I had this vision in high school (at least apparently because my memory is still fucky) of being a computer scientist. Something about being the person who made the program that could save lives was everything I wanted to achieve, that, and an education. Recently I’ve been thinking about going back to school but honestly I hate, and I mean hate, the education system. It isn’t my thing and I’ll just suffer. The way I’m learning skills now is just more fluid and better for my mental health.

My real dream job though is to be an author, for now anyway. Telling stories is just something I love to do. I don’t know what it is, but sharing my writing with people really warms my heart. Showing off something I made and am actually proud of is kind of neat. Especially after putting in days worth of work into editing and planning. I think as a future career goal, I’d like to write and share stories and ideas. I’ve been making up some content so let’s see in six months where I’ve gone with this. Or even in a year! Plus, learning and working on this the way that I have has been really good for me. Improving my vocabulary and developing a good habit is also a bonus.

As for whether or not I’ll still be working where I am, I honestly don’t know. So far I really enjoy what I’m doing and don’t want to leave. Plus, it makes for some funny content. I’ve got a good team and I’m learning a lot at the same time. My fingers are crossed that I continue to enjoy life and everything that’s thrown my way!

Beautiful picture my buddy took. His Instagram

As a side note, today is the anniversary of my grandmother passing. I wanted it documented somewhere just how much she meant to me.

Anyway, thanks for stopping by today. Go check out that link on that picture and support a friend of mine! And as always, thanks for reading!
— Deryn

Somehow, I Forgot

I don’t know how I did it, but I forgot to make a blog post yesterday. I was so caught up in watching a movie and a buddy’s stream on Twitch that I just didn’t write anything. So here I am with a “sorry I suck lol” post.

I don’t really have much to talk about. Tonight I’m going to paint some Warhammer minis with some friends, and tomorrow we’re going to play some Magic the Gathering. Having to write about nerd things I like reminds me just how much of a nerd I am…

Work has been super slow the past couple days, so I’ve watched a couple movies. IT Chapter II and Scary Stories to tell in the Dark were the two I watched at work. They were actually pretty good. IT was awesome with the acting we got to see from Bill Skarsgård. He’s a fantastic actor. Scary stories I feel could have had a bit more, but it was beautiful and the visual effect were astounding!

Today, if it’s still dead, I’m going to watch Brightburn. I’m on a scary movie train, shush. I’ve got money on Google Play for doing some surveys, so that’s why I can do this at all.

Oh hey! My hair is a different colour! Go check my Instagram out to see the pictures! I love it!

But yeah, that’s really all I’ve got for now. Sorry again for forgetting yesterday. Here’s a picture of Shadow as an apology.

I really mean it when I say thanks for reading. You lovely people are amazing! Have a good one!
— Deryn

Adult Store Adventures

Man, I really enjoy this job! As odd as it is selling sex toys and porn, it’s still a fun place to work. Most of the time people don’t suck either, which is great! I say that but the public is still the public.

My store has its windows black out, you know, for obvious reasons, or at least what I thought was obvious. This lady comes in, pissed. So of course I prepare for the worst, I’ve been working with people for ten years and they still surprise me. She’s upset she can’t look in my windows. Really? Well, by the product I sell, I kind of have to. I mean there’s dildos and sex dolls everywhere right? After looking at her super confused for at least five whole seconds, this lady glances around and the GETS MAD AGAIN but this time because of the product in here. I just sighed at sat back in my chair, but she got louder and walked right up to my counter.
“What kind of whore would sell product like this?!” was what set me off. I looked at her dead in the eye and replied, “who is dumb enough to walk into a building with a Womanizer branded sign on their door if they’re scared of female orgasms?” She was PISSED and shouted some more, trying to argue with me. “Any child could just walk into the sin filled building!”
“Yeah, so could any idiot.” And as if I just shot her, she huffed so loud and stormed off. Like, what the frig lady? Go away, geez.

Not customer related, but the owner of the place is super impressed with me taking charge and getting stuff done that there’s talk of bonuses and raises. And the store is mine to run now, like fully run finally, so I’m hyped. Inventory is fun: my search history is just lube and different Rated R style names of product.

My favourite lesbian couple came back! They’re amazing. I swear they both have hyperactive personalities cause they’re bouncing off walls and such. I’ve gained some regulars it seems.

I’ve found my least favourite demographic of people to deal with at work; groups of older ladies. I’m a social person, I really am, but when a group of women walk in and just move product around, laughing like idiots the whole time. I get it, there’s dildos and penis shaped candies and some overly kinky shit hanging around, but my god. I am still a business, so please just go away. Thanks…

But that’s it for now. I get some good foot traffic now too, so it keeps me busy. This job was a great idea. That’s all I’ve got for today though, so thanks for reading!
— Deryn

An Ideal Day

The other day I had a real bad day and it got me thinking about what I would call “a good day”. Everyone is different right? So what would be my special and ideal day? Now in case you didn’t know, I’m a simple person with simple needs. I really just want a day off where I can eat popcorn and pet Shadow while watching sims videos. But that doesn’t make a full length blog post, so I figured I’d dive a little deeper.

My bed is literally the best. I’d love to wake up well rested under way too many blankets. All snuggled up and warm, with clear abandonment issues but whatever. Waking up is just waking up though, so that would be that.

From there, a quality breakfast of literally anything with potato. Mostly cause I have a problem and need potatoes… And then plop my ass, on my couch. Sims on the TV and Shadow doing that thing where he stretches and takes up the rest of my free space.

No calls from work, no worries in the world. Just me, myself, and Shadow. And maybe a good story or two to share on social media.

After spending too long being a lazy butt, probably move into a bubble bath and let my body heal from overworking myself all the time. While also planning dinner.

The rest of my day would be dinner, then Magic the Gathering with some friends until at least midnight where we all finally are too tired and head home. Only to then dream of the next day in the comfort of my safety blankets once again.

And yeah, that’s my ideal day Thanks for reading! And have yourself an awesome day!
— Deryn