More Dad Stories

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Remember the one time my dad scared me? Well, my dad is a unique character, and over the years has really found out the power he has over my understanding of the world. I’ve realized as of late that he really just ruined my vocabulary over the years. There’s two examples in particular that I would like to share. I love my dad, I really do, but these realizations make it easy for friends to bully me. I say this with love. After finding out what’s wrong with my word choice, it sticks with me forever.

My first real “huh” moment was walking to school one day. Marmots are a lovely little critter that lives around here. If you don’t know what a marmot is, it’s basically a groundhog kind of thing. Cute little fluffy rodent type that loved the fields around my high school, and when I was younger, I didn’t know what they were. I guess the education system failed me huh. Being the curious kid I am, I asked my dad.

This cutie is a marmot

Guess what he told me. “Fuzzum,” that’s what he told me. Fuzzum. My freaking dad, convinced me, that a damn marmot was called a fuzzum. You know how I found out what they were actually called, a friend who was all “a what???” when I called them a fuzzum. I was devastated at the idea that my dad had fooled me for years about the damn rodents name. Yes, I’m still upset, and it’s been years now. I still use fuzzum, and my roommate also does now. But finding out the first time that I was lied to, ruined me. Well, not actually, but pretty much.

My other “well shit” moment was learning what a cattail is. If you’ve ever seen one, they look kind of like a corndog. I know that’s a bizarre comparison, but that’s what they look like. Now, I’ve only seen them in real life at one spot in town. I remember the interaction with my dad vividly. “The wild corndogs are looking good this year, all they need is some mustard,” was what my dad said to me. I never thought about it after the fact.

This is what a Cattail looks like

My lovely roommate was sharing a Tiktok with me, and a cattail was thrown to the ground. They explode normally and look like cotton in the wind. Of course, I got excited and had to share my understanding of what happened. I said to her, “hey, that poor wild corndog,” to which I got complete confusion out of her. I shared this particular moment on Facebook, and that didn’t help. Crazy things one just never expects to learn so late in life.

Well, that’s all I have for today. Thanks for stopping by, and if you have any similar stories, I’d love to hear them! Be safe out there, and stay warm!
— Deryn

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