Mental Health

What an interesting topic. The past few years I’ve gone to counselling and I was seeing a therapist for a bit. Just as a way to keep on top of myself I’ve made a habit out of it almost. I’ve healed and learned a lot since I started going right after graduating high school.

My last year of high school I started a relationship I shouldn’t have. My fear of saying no and breaking someones heart got the better of me. I let myself do things I wouldn’t normally and let people do things to me that weren’t right. I was so convinced that this was something that made me happy and I let myself push everyone I cared about away. I didn’t even know I was doing it until it was too late. I left myself in a situation where I was alone. That was the most difficult time of my life. I came back and tried to fix it but clearly I was too late.

That past year I’ve fixed up some relationships that I still had and made some new friends along the way. I wish I could go and apologize to all the people I hurt but I don’t know if I’ll see them again. But one person in particular I miss, she was my best friend through school, and I hurt her the most. It sucks not saying hi to certain people anymore; not being able to tell them you’re sorry.

Now that I’m content and have learned from what I did and what I should have done, I’ve been more open about what happened and can even joke about it now. I recommend talking to a professional to everyone I know. I also offer my experience as a lesson to those who need it.

I’m writing this because I fell into a bit of a rut and couldn’t stop crying the other day. Since then I’ve been feeling burnt out. I’ve got a meeting with my counselor next week and cannot wait to see her again. I’m sorry for a longer and more serious post than normal but I wanted to tell someone what’s going on in my life right now. Thanks for listening to my rambles and here’s a picture of Shadow to make up for it all.

He’s all over my Insta

I appreciate you all and thanks for reading!
— Deryn

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